date: Thursday, December 23, 2010
title:
now its FANGIRL TIME!
thanks to carissa, i am blogging again:)
heheh.
sorry for that last post down there, i was really terribly sad.
OMG KEY ROCKS! onew tooo! hehehe. i dont like shinee i only like that particular two haha!
cute right, i know, cos i am aleen tan yu ling mah(:
anyway horh, today was an ok day. its actually the sec 1 registeration day for the new ppeeppooppllee. then erm, we went to mac and ate and went home. thats quite summarised le, so dont ask for much :)
i love debbie's wallet man. its so freaking cute and chubby.its stitch thats why, once again,
KEY ROCKS!
date: Thursday, December 2, 2010
title: just like how it was predicted
i knew this would happened even before i went. i was devastated. why did you all treat me like this? ok, let me put it this way without blaming u all. why do i act this way, what the hell is the prob in me?!
i already knew the trip will be like this. the first few days i tried to stick with u all closely and talk and laugh together. it didnt work at all. you all continued to stick together without me like a glue and left me out. u alll wouldnt understand me, i think. i was fuckin frustrated, i didnt wan to confront u all. i kept it and didnt wan to make a mountain out of a mole hill. i am so sorry.
even if i tell u personally how i feel, u will not tell me some ways to just be with u people. instead, u will tell me my weakness and all those nasty stuffs that i didnt wan to hear. i know, u must be doing it again now. i have tried my best but it didnt seem to help abit at all that time in japan.
of cos in this training trip, i have learnt alot in playing the instrument. bonding with band mates? no. it was jus like before. if u ask me why io kept asking u the same question over and over, thats the reason why. if u dont know the reason why, i will tell u again now. YOU ALL STICKED TOGETHER WHENEVER IT IS AND TALK TO EACH OTHER PRIVATE STUFFS. THE HISTORY IS GOING TO REPEAT ITSELF, TRUST ME. I WAS THE PERSON THAT KEPT SEPARATING U ALL FROM ALL THESE SMALL GATHERINGS U ALL MADE TO TALK PRIVATE THINGS. the history u all made last time was really horrible. omg, i hate it.
i know i cant stick to u all like a book to its spine. but please, jus let me be able to be with u all. i became very paranoid because of all this. if u hate me just say it. u have no need to treat me like this, then u will safe ur energy to stop straining those jaw muscles. i am such a goner. i really regreted going for this trip.
examples were like those in the singapore airport, that time when i asked u what happened to the instrument, u answered me like i am such a idiot by telling me in that tone. another example was in japan. not another, a thousand other. there are so many that it kills my brain cells and i dont wan to mention it cos it breaks my eye bag.
u all must be thinking that i am such a childish person. i am not. so what if i have not hit puberty? my thinking changes. please dont think that : is u who do not stick with us what, blame us for what. dont be so childish lah.u also ownself dont follow us what. u keep on doing this. it was u who keep following others one loh.
its not like this really. i follow others cos i do not want to hurt myself more. i follow u all was an attempt to talk and laugh and bond with u all (fails all the time). i dont wanna tell u this in the face was to not start a quarrel. i do not need u all to understand me, jus wanna say out my feelings thats all. comprehending is not a solution. accepting is then a solution.
why do u all treat me like this? is the history repeating itself?
