date: Thursday, March 11, 2010
title: Topic: random
nothing to say leh, anyway, hieeee!!! (:aleen here. tomorrow sports day, not even a least bit excited. excited for practices only, havebeen fighting very hard to get more marks than her.. tried, i must get more or i will feel neglected(even though idk what it means, stupid me) i feel like killing myself. i cried when i recieved my history first test cos i got half mark less, wtf, i cried on the spot. feel like bashing her up you know and sent to a home, how glad if i were to be there. i dont wanna face challenges, i hate even though it is just temporary setbacks, no time for plays but study, i have to go home early, dont drag. i want to study, pardon you, i want to get first again, no chance for her, i want to obtain my standard, i want to get WHAT I WANT. kill her, burn slash whip. cook boil, fry. i want to do that, i can even imagine myself killing a human and getting blood all over my hands. i cant stand it, i must have that potential in me only that i kept it in and not showing my full potentil. i hereby promise not to go mac or anywhere anymore, i want to go home straight away after school to go home and study. i will keep my phone inside my father's safe and change the lock number while i close my eyes. i dont wanna do anything that changes MY LIFE anymore, i cant take it, it gives me the feeling whch obviously i dont like.
so, recently, u will see me looking at the thin air, wondering to myself things, it is either you now me well or you dont, if you know me well, u will leave me alone and if i wanna go home, u will let me.
Thanks (:
